Officially Saying Goodbye...
Loving a friend is one of the hardest things I have ever coped up this past year... One of the problems I had to encounter with it was the dilemma as to whether I confess everything or not to my friend.. Keeping secrets is not what a typical friend would do, right? But when I was faced with that dilemma, I decided not to tell her... One would call it lying... I prefer to call it betrayal... Betraying the trust a friend gave me... But on the other hand, if I decided to confess everything to her, I would end up losing her just the same..What a magnificent situation, ain't it?
And then, when you lose that person, you lose two special people in your life... You lose your love and your friend all at the same time...
And then, it feels as if it's so hard to live, because you've lost a friend you've grown to live with...
(Sighs..)
Maybe if I had just kept my heart out of sight, then everything would have been better... Now, I dont't regret anything... I generally don't have any regrets in life... It's just one of the many "what-if's" I have that could have changed my life altogether...
What if I had not fallen? Then maybe we would still be friends and everything would still be alright..
Still, it's been ages since she said goodbye (in silence, that is)...
It's probably time for me, too, to do the same...
And silently, too, I wave goodbye to everything I've known from the most special angel to my heart...
With a lighter heart... With a lighter feeling...
And now, knowing...
Next time....
I'll keep my heart out of sight...
Goodbye to you...
--- written on a piece of paper dated May 16, 2005
posted by Dexter @ 7:00 AM
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