More Changes
I've been feeling quite insane lately... Probably because there has been much strenuous work lately... Much to my chagrin, I admit I'm partially jealous at how my lasallian friends are having a two-week term break while we thomasians are given queen-sized assignments and king-sized projects... As of yet, there's still the seminar for values where I'm acting as leader on the documentation division; the theology oral report two weeks from now (the written report was submitted yesterday and was given a tentative grade of 90+, thank goodness ^_^); and there's the newest addition in Phist where we'll make a game show based on the format of Street Smarts.. Of course, there's still the undying english homeworks, the drawing plates and the chem lab prelabs... Of course, P.E. is still impending upon me as always... My gosh, I can't tell you how nervous I am that I may not make it to the dean's list just because of a minor subject that I have not, nor I think will I ever, like..
Still, there's been a lot to be thankful for.. My "furioku" has increased considerably and I could safely say that I have learned to handle pressures better than when I was in highschool... I have gained some friends too, as I have updated last week, and have felt more confident and secure over the last few days...
I have given my PC major add-ons too... I've installed Chinese, Japanese and Korean languages for my learning and reading pleasure... I can't tell you how hard it is to search for a chinese mp3 over limewire without the language pack... Thank goodness downloading is easier now.. ^_^
Being the music geek that I am, I have also installed Music Match, which by far, has been very impressive... It's a cd player- ripper and burner all in one... Of course, the burner is not really as fast; but what I really liked about it was the ripper which is plainly awesome.. It's efficient.. Very efficient.. It also enables me to manage my music library with ease... Over all, a very great tool for any music lover to have.. ( I sound like an advertiser don't I??)
I'm also intending to use Mozilla sometime soon... I have to say I'm very impressed with its features..
Still I think I contracted a virus somewhere when I opened that blasted file attachment e mail.. I never really got to save the attachment to my PC, but I went as far as the "This file may contain malicious blah blah DO YOU WANT TO SAVE?" dialogue box... That's when my antivirus warned me that I had a virus but when I scanned the PC(three times), it came off clean... Wonder what the heck happened...
On a slightly mushier note, I've been finding myself listening to this chinese love song lately... The lyrics are posted below... I don't know... It's just so cute and I definitely love it.. BUT, I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH ANYONE.. No no no.... Too busy for that... (Owsss????) Hehehe... Maybe not too busy for it, but I'm not ready just yet.. Besides, I'll probably love and lose all over again... Yeah, that's part of loving, but I would rather get hurt while loving someone who I know would love me someday, instead of getting hurt over nothing ... Hrmmm... Something's wrong here, why am I talking about this????
Well, before I talk about love again, I'll end this now...
Goodluck to us all and God bless us.. ^_^
Parental Guidance is advised...
Now before I begin my ranting, to all lasallians out there who have finished their finals, a happy break ahead of you.. ^_^
WARNING: May contain words not suitable for very young audience.. Parental Guidance is recommended.
"Dean" Alvin Laurito is a very responsible class leader.. And when he found out that our professors were active in a faculty activity the next day, he personally texted us to say that we can skip classes the following morning...
Classes were suspended on UST Engineering Department this past Tuesday, the 23rd of August... It was a SPORTSFEST... and it was among the professors, at that... So the students, although allowed to see their own beloved profs go head on with other profs in basketball competitions, volleyball tournaments and the like, were not really required to attend it... I, being the lazy couch potato that I am, decided to skip it, since I was not really into sports...
Some other more outgoing guys, decided to watch it, to boost our professor's morale and cheer until their voices got hoarse... Of course, I daresay some of them went there for the little glint of expectation of having a plus grade or what... Still, when they (my classmates who went to see the fest) went up to check if any teacher was there, all they saw were rooms with closed lights, turned-off electric fans, and shut-downed air conditioners... To say it blankly, noone was there.... They were all deserted..
Having seen no living soul upstairs, they went down to join in with the revelry.. They saw one of our three professors for that day, Mrs. Amon, who found it queer that they were actually there when classes were called off... She even told them to go home instead of watching the fest.. And they also saw Prof Bernabe, our second prof for Tuesday, who shared the same surprise to see them.. The fact of the matter is, TWO OF OUR PROFESSORS THAT DAY WERE NOT, I repeat, NOT EXPECTING TO SEE US THERE for obvious reasons that THERE WERE NO CLASSES....
( WARNING: YOU CAN STOP READING IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO SEE VULGAR CONTENT. ALL CONTENTS BELOW THIS POINT WILL BE DOWNRIGHT DIRTY...)
Of course, we just have this amazingly IDIOTIC professor who thinks she calls all shots... Have I ever told you about our "fabulous" English prof?? Man, you'll be the luckiest guy/girl on earth if ever she became your teacher... Wanna know what we do when we meet?? Lessee... She gives us 5 page assignments every meeting.. When classes start, she tells us to check each other's work.. She calls a student and asks him/her to answer the question... The student gets the answer wrong, you'll hear her say.. "Oh my Gosh, what is wrong with this class?" or maybe if you get lucky, she'll say "Where is your brain, Mr Z??" For one whole meeting that is all we do, we read the question from our assignment and answer it. She on the other hand, does not even talk, much less move.. She just sits there getting her butt big, so that it barely fits a lion's mouth... And she gives no consideration in tests... For example, multiple choice.. Match the word "set" with any word on column B... Among the choices are "up" and "back".... You know, if yo answer "up", youre wrong cos thats not what she thinks... Set back is the only correct word there is.. You get me??? As in nooooooooooooooo considertation, even if the directions stated that "any word on column B"... Tsktsk.. Trust me, this prof is a pain in the ass...
Now going back to the sportsfest incident....
English classes are held twice a week, Tuesday and Thursday.. So today was our first meeting since then...
You know what she did when she stepped in the room???
"Where were you, last Tuesday???? Who told you not to attend classes???" Then the b!tch started blaming our class leader.. "You go to the deans office and explain it to them what you did"
Afterwards that asshole continued "All of you are going to get 0 for the activity we were supposed to have last Tuesday.." (just f**k up and shut your mouth..) " i am going to give you a quiz about the ones we didnt discuss.. you think you're good enough ha??" (we're not that good, but we're better than some old hag like you)
And everyone was like staring at her.. No.. GLARING at her..
cos she is the worst NINCOMPOOP to ever tread UST... everyone was muttering under their breath a curse or two.. kase sa totoo lang naman, wala naman kameng natututunan sa kanya, tapos ganyan siya kayabang..
and everyone wanted her to die on the spot, tell you that much.. That is how "famous" she is.. Talaga lintek siya... I wonder how she have ever managed to last this long..
Punyeta, kung gusto nya lageng may nakatangang estudyante sa kanya, gumawa siya ng sariligng school nya nuh!!
Bwisit tlaga, shete...
Hay, kung makatagpo ka nga naman ng teacher na ganyan.... tsktsk....
un lang... gusto ko lang magbroadcast ng kababuyan ng prf naming yan... sama ko noh?/ hahahah...
OFF.
Closed for Repairs
A lot of people still ask me how I'm faring with my love life... Dashes of friendly teasing here and there and insinuations of me dedicating a quote or song to a special someone still run as wildly as before... I don't blame them... In fact, I think it just normal for them to think that way especially since the adolescent stage is the time in one's life wherein most of us would have "puppy loves" or "crushes" to a person we find "hot" or "cool"..
But just as the sun rises everyday at morning in the east, everything has its own place and time for taking place... Love?? Alas! that is a most wonderful thing. But now is not the time to mingle emotion and mind... At least that is why I think so...
Now I don't mean to be hypocritical... I admit I have been in love before, not once nor twice... But a heart gets tired after getting bruised a lot of times... Me?? I'm just one of those who has loved and lost too many a time... In fact, if only I could wear a sign, I would wear one across my heart with the words, "CLOSED FOR REPAIRS" in bold, capital letters...
Of course, I'm not saying I would never love again.. But now??? Let's just say I have a telephone operator inside my heart that says "Please try your call later" when cupid tries to shoot an arrow through it... Honestly, I have finally understood the essence of our debate in highschool.. "Dapat bang pagsabayin ang pag-ibig at pag-aaral?"
Now I don't mean to argue with anyone... If there's one thing I intend to do, that's to respect everyone's opinion... But for me, being in love?? I'm not stripping it from the cliche "I feel inspired when I'm in love.".. But I think having only one passion at a time is enough... that passion being studies...
All I'm saying is that I do love... I love my family.. I love my friends.. I love doing what there is to be done now... But I'm not in love... Not yet... Not now...
Of course, there'd be a time when my heart will be open again... to sing a tune for someone special.. to write a poem and dedicate it to her.. to have another reason to smile for...
But that time is not now....
And though I may not be wearing a big sign around my chest, you could be sure, that my heart is indeed "closed for repairs"...
Changes
While some of my friends from other colleges are busy reviewing for their finals, we have just finished our preliminary exams last week... Moreover, we just officially started our second quarter, as opposed to DLSU students in the verge of transition from first term to second term. Er, fine.. let me correct that... We officially started our second quarter like five days ago.. But goodness, how could I update my blog?? We still had a pile of assignments even when we were busy reviewing for our tests.. We were required to submit a summary and reflection about the story of Moses and the Exodus this week... In English... Well, you know that prof of ours.. She never fails to give us an assignment, a loooooooooooooong one at that, every meeting... Of course, in ChemLab we have our prelabs every week, and a special post lab if you get "lucky"..
Still, I wouldn't really consider college monotonous what with the constant assignments every week.. For one thing some things are changing.. College is starting to feel more like highschool now, classmate-wise more specifically... Let's just say that I have earned some respect from them... Of course, I'm still probably the only guy who doesn't have anybody to talk to during breaks.. Still, this is a start.. And it just goes to show that "One does not demand respect... He earns it.. "
Of course, not all of them respect me.. Some of those who are the "bully types" are harder to "tame" than the others... But I have probably established a better working atmosphere than before.. As for friends? Well, there are quite a few.... I have gotten to know some of the people in our classroom more and my goodness, I just realized that some of them came from the USTHS star sec.... And unsurprisingly enough, they are also trying to get into the dean's list.. Looks like there's a case of "friendly competition" at hand... Still, friendly competition or otherwise, I can't deny that I'm definitely gonna have difficulties in vying for the honors.. JayR excels in memorization and that's taking phist and theo with him.. Benedict is good in english and values.. Still CKSC's own Jansen is good in math too.. Of course, being the competition obssessive geek that I am, I could tell that I'm gonna enjoy this.. more than what I could ever put in words.. And that has definitely have me pleased..
There are also other things to be pleased of, as well.. I am pretty satisfied with most of my prelim grades... EXCEPT for that damn english.... Not that I was expecting a perfect grade or what... But it was just so low.... Grrr... As for the others, well... so-so.... I was also rather disappointed with my chem grade, because I gave up more than ten points in multiple choice... (Damn...) Of course, I was perfectly perfectly pleased with my math grade.. *grins widely to myself* (To my parents and my HS friends who supported me, this one's for all of you...) :) And of course, I want to thank God for blessing me throughout the prelims week because I know that none of this would have been possible without His guidance.. ^_^
But of course, prelims is prelims and now, a new chapter lies waiting to be written.. As to if I'll get what I want, that's something to be done and proven.. Like what I've said just a few nights back to a friend of mine, "dreams remain only as dreams if not acted upon.." Time may give us all the opportunities, but the rest??? It's definitely up to us... As for me?? Well, there's nothing impossible if you believe... Dexter's Theorem states that:
Success is equated to Perseverance, Prayer, Intensity, Integrity and Intelligence...
(or more simply)
S= 2P + 3I
heheheh... Getting insane again... Oh well, this is a very good chance to put that theorem to the acid test...
For now, I end this post...
God bless us all.... ^_^
R.I.P.
-- Dexter Tan
Simplicity is beauty..
Well, here's the new layout I promised... Surpisingly enough, this is plain... Very plain, as a matter of fact.. No pictures, no sounds, no special effects.. Well, maybe there'd be sounds soon but I the possibility of putting a picture there is distant.. Mainly because I don't know how to.... (As far as html codes go, I'm no whiz, I can tell you..) So this would probably stay visually the same until mid-November comes..
As for why I chose this over the other more vivid and more colorful skins out there... Well, I'm just in this rather peculiar "simplicity is beauty" mood... It's not really peculiar per se... It's just that I never have had this state of mind before...
It probably just goes to show that a lot of what one believes in changes over time.. Perceptions.. Dreams.. Hopes.. Ideas... All are subject to change with time unless one has had a strong foundation for his beliefs...
Some things have changed in me as well... My interests have majorly changed over the summer, ever since college started.. One who knew me pretty well back in high school would easily tell you that I prioritized love over all other aspects..
Now.... Well, let's just say I'm taking studies more seriously than ever before... In fact, studying has become my life for quite a while now... It's almost an obssession really.. Not that I don't get online to chat with friends or watch tv at 4 pm or so.. It's just that my social life has been majorly cut down since then... And yes, it is boring... Very boring in fact.. But there's just no other way if I want to work abroad and live someplace else... Because I feel there's no hope for this country anymore... Don't get me wrong, I am not denouncing my Tsinoy heritage.... In fact, the Philippines is a beautiful place... Where else could you find the country which fuses the American democracy (and diet ^_^), the Spanish Catholicism, the Chinese sense of business and a dash of Islamic culture to the South?? It's only here.. This country is like a mixing bowl of all beautiful cultures in the world.. I am very confident in saying that it would have emerged as one of the most successful countries if only there was improvement in the reforms and laws.. But the government..... I think I'd be doing injustice if I said that no other country shares this kind of government..... Lying.. Cheating... Stealing..... But here it's just so blatant.. And in a realistic point of view, it's only a matter of time before this country........... *breaks off....
My choice of dreamplace has also changed... I used to want to migrate to Paris and work there... But it's rather unrealistic really..... For one thing, there's a major discrimination of all Oriental cultures when one goes to the west.... Actually, prejudice is a better term for that... I really don't know if the Westerners ( the Americans and Europeans alike) are just insecure of the capability of us, Asians, but how could I expect to live peacefully in a country that does not respect Asians like me???
So now, if I were given a chance to migrate somewhere else, it would probably be China, Japan or Korea (South of course).... Now those are just priorities... If I would be destined elsewhere, or if I would be fated to stay here (which I hope not) then I would accept it... Still, I am doing everything in my power to change that fate.... As for why I chose those three countries??? Well, first of all, I am Asian.... Unlike before when I based my dreams on wine (Montpelier, France produces excellent wine) let's just say I want to preserve the Asian-ness that I am actually proud of....
Now why not Indonesia? or Malaysia? Well because those are Islamic countries... It's not that I don't like Moslems... It's more of they don't like Catholics... Not that they can't be blamed for that perception... The Spaniards have done a very great job in sealing that fate for all Catholics... All they did in their occupation here for 333 years was to invade the Southern Philippines again and again and again.. Who could blame the Muslims, after all?
Moreover, I am an Electronics and Communications engineer.. An aspirant, at that, nonetheless.. But Japan is known for their superb technology... Robots.. Cellphones... PC's... A paradise for an EC Engineer... On the other hand, Korea is home to Samsung electronics... Pretty much what applied to Japan could apply here as well.. ( Except for the robot part that is) China??? Well, I'm a Chinese after all... No reason more than that... Of course, if I'd choose among the three, I'd choose........ Hehehe. Rather undecided yet... ^_^
Of course, Koreans are known for their being very polite and respectful.... And that's really a plus factor... On the other hand, I know a little background on the Japanese and Chinese languages so I wouldn't have to study a foreign language again.... Still, it'll depend on how well I perform.. On how high my board exams will go.... And that is what I'm striving for...
Oh well, be ranting another time.. Didn't notice I blabbed already.. Hehehe..
Sorry for taking your precious time reading a foolish boy's dreams..
Tata.. ^_^
God bless all of us..
PRELIMS!!!
it's still as cold as before.. wish it could snow here.. now wouldn't that be grand?? and i just love the cold... REALLY LOVE IT..
now contrary to what i posted last night, well, i'm merely making a distinction and comparison between the two types of cold one can feel.... but really, I LOVE THIS WEATHER.. in fact, I LOVE IT WHEN IT RAINS... it's like a blessing from heaven to earth.. and to reiterate matters, WALA AKONG PINATATAMAAN.... that was just an essay.. kaya kung sinuman ang matamaan, pasensya na.. cos I really don't have intentions na patamaan kayo..
Prelims na bukas.. hahah GUDLUCK TO ME!! AND TO ALL THOMASIANS OUT THERE WHO'LL HAVE THEIR PRELIMS TOMORROW..
GOD BLESS ALL OF US..
Cold...
It's been super cold these past few days... as in freezing........ and its in times like these that you'll remember the warmth you shared with your friends in highschool...
and you know what??
it's just so damn annoying when you find out that they don't feel the same way..
when you wait by the phone for him (i'll be using the pronoun "him" to denote of both male and female genders) to make a call and say "hi"..
or when you expect him to text you or email you to say "miss yah pal"
and it just doesn't arrive even if you were already waiting lightyears for the call to come...
and he just seems so indifferent about it... as if, nothing happened.. as if you were nobody to him...
and it's just so damn painful...
and it makes you think....
just who is he to you?
what are "friends"...
classmates???
batchmates???
acquaintances??
== now, i want to make something clear, WALA AKONG PINATATAMAAN !!! i swear that....==
it's just that, when you know of someone who goes through this kind of ordeal...
and both parties involved are your friends...
it's like your heart is being torn...
because you can feel the pain...
and when you realize that one of them ends his friendship with the other.....
it's just so painful....
"why does something like this have to happen???" is all that could cross your mind.
now, distance between friends is inevitable.... some say it's by destiny's hand... but being one who does no believe in fate nor destiny, i think it's one's own decision that one chooses this college over the other despite his friend being on the other one... Now, I don't want to sound partial.... and as a matter of fact, i am not here to contest whether it's destiny or will that led us to where we are....
I am just here to say that..
"sana lang walang limutan.."
cos maybe you haven't realized yet..
but the cold that one feels because of the weather..
is nothing compared to the cold that one feels because of the emptiness you left when you decided to forget him....
Am I trying too hard??
"Kinetic energy is the quantity of a rational expression multiplied by the infinitive squared divided by the the route of Villalobos to Mollucas subtracted from an ogee curve."
Say what!?!?!
I actually said that once without me realizing it.. No kidding!! Here I was with five books before me, and I was trying to get all the facts into my head.. My mom coincidentally passed my bedroom while I uttered that nonsensical equation...
And it was like 12 midnight and I was near knockout status... But I can't sleep yet... Not when prelims is drawing nearer by the second...
My mom just looked at me like I was the craziest lunatic in the universe... And she went over me, felt my forehead and lightly slapped my cheeks to snap me out of what seemed to be a trance...
I actually didn't believe her when she first told me, but looking at it, why the heck would mom invent something like that?? So it probably was true..
Meaning that the pressure is finally getting into me...
Overdrive mode... Inspired mode... Unstoppable mode... That was what my status in YM said for the last few days... Yeah, I really felt like those.. like nothing could stop me..
And actually, as far as my will and my spirit is concerned, I am determined to go the miles I have to walk to reach my goal.
But my body is saying something else.... Sleeping for only three hours a day for the purpose of studying?? My eyes are droopy, my brain barely holding on... Got almost no energy left... I feel as if I am about to collapse...
Which makes me think.. AM I JUST TRYING TOO HARD??
Yes, sacrifices are necessary to fulfill dreams.. But man, it's as if I'm obssessed... I'm forgetting to unwind.. to enjoy...
Overdriven?? Probably it's good up to some point... But one must not forget to live just because of an obssession right? Yeah, it's better to be just driven, cos everything that is "over" is bad for your health.. = )
Oh well, have to regain all those lost sleep..
Tata everyone... ENJOY LIFE FOR YOU ONLY GET TO LIVE IT ONCE...
Rally hoooooooooooooo!!
OPH.
- Honorary Member of Xerxes, DJT
