Sidewalk
Maybe, happiness never really had anything to do with others after all, and we were meant to be alone... Maybe, being happy simply meant that you were cool with who you really are, regardless of what others say and think about you... Maybe, the essence of our very lives is simply appreciating life for what it really is... Maybe, we were never meant to love everyone we meet... Maybe, it is simply giving respect where it's due... Maybe, we were never really meant to take crap from anyone... Maybe, it is seeing beyond the imperfections, but knowing that they're still there...Or maybe, just maybe, solitude is happiness... Maybe this side of the sidewalk is my paradise..
The view from this side has been spectacular thus far. There are a lot of things to be happy about, and indeed I am happy... Everyday, I wake up to a new morning, but I've never lost the reason to smile for the same sun that shines for me, the same wind that calms me, the same birds that sing for me... It IS a wonderful world...
Yet, somehow, the crowd daunts me... I fear them... I fear totally losing myself... Maybe, this fear is unfounded, unfounded as for someone who has been reborn... But with the self same freedom by which I have chosen to live again, I think it's best for now to just watch them from afar... It is a choice that I do not think by any means I will regret...
Live and let live, I suppose... As a great mentor of mine once said, "Neither be attached nor detached, but rather be non-attached... Let the emotions rise, watch them, and then let them go" I intend to take that lesson by heart...
To be honest, so far, there has been minimal success.. I've tripped, I've stumbled, and I've fallen, and all this after my emotions were all riled up.. And yet, for someone who has just begun to take this road, I have high hopes... I have reason to believe that life is a continuous process of living, dying, and living again... Maybe, a phoenix's beauty comes not from just being reborn once, but from being reborn hundreds of times...
We are all phoenixes, waiting to be reborn...
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School has been great so far... Currently in the "live and let live" mantra.... We've been given quite a load of lectures and materials to read right off the bat, which, is rather uncharacteristic of our profs... But we-ell there we are... We're dealing with the big guns now, the top salt.. the thing that would actually define who we are... We have five, yes five, majors this sem... Four units of electric circuits, four on electronic devices and circuit design, three units on differential equations, two on statistics, and three on thermodynamics... We have two minors too, three units of taxation and agrarian reform, and three units of english... Can't say I'm not daunted... I'd have to say I'm genuinely scared, and I suppose, all fired up to do my best... and not "best" as in having a 1.25 grade or flat one or being a dean's lister... I realized that having grades like that don't mean anything for me... Because I got 1.25 in both integral calculus and physics last sem but I've completely forgotten everything from then!!! Which is why I'm more concerned this time to really LEARN something, and not only LEARN but RETAIN what I've learned... Which, admittedly, is going to be a pretty darned tall order... BUT I can do it... I WILL do it... (all psyched up!)
That is why, contrary to what I've promised, I'm probably not going to be able to update as much as I initially said... In fact, this may very well be, the last post in quite a short while... I do promise to come back this October to tell you everything, but as to what would go on in between June and October, I can't say for sure... However, rest assured that I'll still be online and available for IM every Saturday and Sunday afternoons and Monday evenings... Just ping me even though you don't see me, cos chances are, I'm just invisible... ^^ and for those who would care, I'm at our university's Central Library every Thursday from 12 noon to about 1:30pm at the second floor, just in case you happen to need to see me personally... ^^
As for anything else, I'll keep you posted when I do find the time to do so...
Til then.. Cheers! Solo Dios Basta! ^^
posted by Dexter @ 8:55 PM
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