Ramblings
Nope.. Definitely not that mumbo-jumbo sort of hate-mail-ish type of post you'd come to expect of good ol' Dex... I find doing to that sort of thing to be most unhealthy.. It just isn't practical..With that being said, I'm still that old geezer who's going to rant your heads off like there's no tomorrow (now we're talking! ^^)
I have been meaning to update this poor old dusty shell of a blog I have for weeks.. But I just wasn't up to the job I suppose... I wanted to do a whole heck of a lot of things... What was that phrase? So much to do, so little time.. Anyhoo, I found filling in to be inevitable at the very least so here I am chugging away at the keyboard.. Sadly though, I may very well be abandoning ship sometime soon; maintaining this old mess proves to be a tad time consuming, if not tedious, work.. What's more, I find that the people who ARE visiting, I also talk to through SMS or IM, whether justt recently or since the Triassic ages.. meh... not even close to my target of 100 posts.. oh well... c'est la vie...
I've been finding it harder and harder to hold on to the old guys and gals.. Of course there's still Jo and Sze who I sometimes talk to over IM (and who's probably reading this too, HULLO there ^^) and Liz, who at the very least, I still exchange quotes with... And then there's like another four or five people who do too, and mind you, they're not exactly the ones who I thought was going to at least make the effort to make the friendship work despite the distance.. Dunno, maybe I'm just this guy who valued high school memories too much that I'm finding it somewhat annoying that I feel like everyone's just moving on with their lives without me... I mean, just how hard is it to send something to let me know that you're still alive, no? The ones who I've worked with "behind the scenes"... the people who I've devoted my afternoons to once... the ones who I treated just as if they were my sibling... the people who I've shared the same passion for food and song... Somehow, it's all so surreal... It's as if I just knew them once, but I no longer do.. With that being said, of course, I am not going to pretend that I'm this good guy who's giving everything to keep the friendship alive... I suppose part of this has also been my undoing... For me not to have attended just "one of the most important events in their life" is plainly unforgivable... I wish I was this kid who had his way that time, for God knows just how much I really wanted to go.. But then I wasn't that kid.. Je ne regrette rien... You can't always have your way I suppose... If you had, life would be boring... I just wonder for how much longer some of the people I still have will stay.. Sighs...
And you know what's even funnier? It's that not so long ago, you would have given everything just to be able to talk to some person and yet she never was there.. But now you find that you've been bumping into her more often and yet you don't want to talk to her at all... Fate... Zut alors! And no, I'm not being bitter... I guess it's just that I realize just how fragile everything was after all... I was this kid who was hard to open at first, but was wacky and insane after a bit of nudging and prodding... I'm a fool after all.. Anyhoo, that's that... No amount of regret can bring it back... The case? Simply irrevocable.. I'd be a bigger fool if I'd let that get into my head.. But allow me to say, I was happy, really happy to have them once...
Anyways, now that that's out of the way, allow me to say, that my friendster account is already defunct, so I may just have to subscribe again.. This goes specifically to Sze, who wants me to create a testimonial for her (a lenghty one at that).. So a little bit of patience goes a long way... P.S. Can't I just send it to you through your mail?? (Desperation ^^)
Anyhoo, I'm testing the waters a little bit.. I'm still a bit allergic to opening my blog, but I guess I have to try.. Besides there never was solid proof that the viruses do come from here.. Innocent until proven guilty, I say...
Til then my avid readers.. ^^ You may very well find an update sometime very soon if everything goes well... Else, well, goombye blogging..
Cheers ^^
EDIT: meh, seeing that noone is actually updating their blogs anymore, I think its also time for me to follow suit.. to put it simply, this IS my last entry in this blog... hehehe.. oh well... I'll be online almost everyday from 3-5pm this summer so you can just catch me there ^^ as for school days... well I think 8 to 10 pm would be a good bet ^^ ciao my readers.. the ride was fun.. ^^
posted by Dexter @ 3:07 PM
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