Time for One Last Hurrah
We came as close to our demise as we've ever been; but we looked squarely at its face, scarred, marred, its eyes disfigured, its breath hanging putridly upon the air.And somehow, we survived, didn't we? Ah, yes, we got lucky indeed - not everyone would have had that second wind, nor that chance to pick up where we had foolishly left off. We passed the subject - maybe with not so much flourish or flair to talk about - but we passed nonetheless. For that moment, it was all that mattered.
It comes as no surprise that it should rear its ugly face once again. It was a given, of course, that things would only get much tougher as we go.
The stage is set for a new year and it was curtain call. And yet, I'm not quite sure if I'm ready to leave just about now. Sure, passing the subject, and ultimately the term, was a milestone all unto itself. But then, that was not entirely what this year had meant for me, was it? There's much else that has happened before and after then I have yet to absorb, or to simply remember. Cramming everything up all into a single day was sheerly impossible. For someone who brooded as much as I did - or perhaps that only makes it more so - time, indeed, was my greatest enemy.
As pots and pans began to clank, sauces bubble, meats sizzle, and puffs of smoke rise with flashes of colors that light up the sky, it becomes almost too surreal.
"The base was good; but was that really cow testicles I just ate?"
Familiar feelings: "Is this love?"
"Yan ang problema sayo Dex! Minsan masyado ka kasing responsible."
"Tama??"
"You can do it mentally."
"Pero, well... You're right, I do like you. Kase andito na rin lang tayo; might as well say it diba? Ayoko lang someday, magka-what-if's ako."
"Payag ba guys? Payag noh?"
"Fargildue! Slash! Slash!"
"58... 59... 60... 61... Uhhhhhh, hindi ko na kaya!"
"When the diode is pointing to the left... To the left, to the left..."
"Sorry... kase I fell for you."
"Next term hindi na tayo block!"
"Bawal ang mga bading."
"The right stuff?? Enter."
"Rubik's? Maganda yung FriedRice method!"
"Baka isang araw nyan, malaman ko nalang kumakain ka rin pala ng utak ng baka. By the way, you want to try live worms?? Hahaha!"
So maybe it was the fear that things will never be quite the same again - perhaps because the year has just been that memorable.
And yet, even that was a moot point. As much as I cared to admit that the clock was tick-tick-ticking too fast for my tastes - oh, yes, I am a sucker for nostalgia - there was, is, still no stopping change.
But if nothing else, now, more than ever, I realize who I truly am; my person redefined, my soul tempered, my emotions tapped. In a lot of ways, I have become someone as only I can ever hope to be, and only because, ironically, I had embraced change - it does pay, I found this year, to get out of your comfort zone.
Surely, I will move on, if not simply out of doing justice to the year that has just passed. The problem with staying in one place for too long is that it gets us nowhere. Not even trying to move on is, I suppose, a mockery of all that I've been given.
So, after all's been said and done, there is, I resolve, no place for stagnation this year. I'll try anything, I'll risk everything. We have only one life to live, so we had to live it well and enjoy, no matter how things change.
So... Those live worms? Where's the best place to get them?
posted by Dexter @ 7:29 PM
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